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Hope Fading Nightly

by Tellison

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1.
Dear Henry, Peter, Andrew, Richard, Matthew, Benjamin, As members and past members of this ignominious team I write to you to apologise for the mess we're in This holding pattern of defeat on defeat on defeat And though I've done my best it feels like, We Tried And we fought the good fight, every single night And luck well we had none Don't know what I could have done I just think the time has come To step aside To leave So this will be the last time that I write to you or slur "Glory to the team and to all those who sail in her" Remember all the floodlit nights and pyrrhic victories Remember all the lives we changed, or thought we changed at least But like Keanu Reeves says: "Pain heals, Chicks dig scars, Glory lasts forever." Pain heals, Girls like scars, Glory lasts forever. Please accept my reluctant though necessary resignation.
2.
Getting drunk At a party and not talking to anyone Isn't fine And neither are you You read yourself blue Now all things just pass And you still come in last What now do you do? Getting wrecked When the thing that you're looking for is respect Isn't good And neither are you You used to get through this Now all things just pass And you still come in last What now do you do? Cause you're 25 And everyone thinks You can't do a thing right Drink red wine Say that you're fine Drink red wine Say you'll be Driving home From a show where you've never felt so alone Is ok 26 will be great.
3.
Boy 02:33
As a young man, I thought I knew everything, I thought I knew how to live, Completely clueless. When 2005 was the worst year of my life, You made it good, When I thought no-one could. But I was just a boy when I met you, I shouldn’t have let you in but I wanted to. On the night you left, I heard everything you’d say, I crumbled and crawled away, I woke up in an alleyway. Cause that night I raised my fist and in my fist I raised my drink. I drank to broken limbs, to bloodied lips, to losing all you thought you wanted. But I was just a Boy when I met you, I shouldn’t have let you in but I let you, It was 2005 I thought this loss might be my life, Oh but I was just a Boy when I met you. Seventeen and you think you know it all, Nineteen and you think you know it all, But I knew. I was just a Boy when I met you.
4.
Wrecker 02:44
If ever I complain About the love that you give me And if I throw it all away Then I hope you forgive me But you left months ago And I hope you know That I wish you would come home I'm a wrecker. If ever I'm away With the boys in the band And you don't hear from me Well I hope you understand I'm a criminal With a wrecking ball And I wish I could come home I'm a wrecker. I'm a criminal With a wrecking ball And I wish I could come home. But you don't wanna know. I'm a wrecker.
5.
I was the rookie of the year I was the boy most likely to And though I still play every year I never really made it I never really made it Where did I go wrong? I never really made it Other prospects came along And the worst thing that I do Is take comfort that They won't make it too What once seemed so attainable Now seems out of reach Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose, you can't lose. I lost, I lost Are my eyes and heart not good? I never really made it Though they said I would And the worst thing that I do Is take comfort when You don't make it too The statistics don't lie The numbers speak for themselves Your average is down You're bottoming out Your initial success was a rogue result outlier There's gotta be something that's not in the numbers There’s gotta be something that's more than the numbers Doesn't there? Doesn't there?
6.
Detective 03:24
If I Were a Detective I would be happier Than I am now ‘Cause I Would not be expected To just take this lying down I’ll do what I can And my job would be my life I’ll do what I can But I could not keep my wife ‘Cause she left some time ago. I really thought my life was homing in on Some kind of resolution Some kind of bold, stark solution A neat Baker Street end With a Paul Auster bend Or a plausible lie That I could tell my friends Oh I think I could be The one happy Detective ‘Cause I would search for everyone else I'd do what I can And my job would be my life I'll do what I can But I never get it right ‘Cause she left some time ago. I do what I can And my job would be my life I do what I can But I never get it right ‘Cause she left some time ago And she's with a better man Than me.
7.
Tact is Dead 03:29
On the day I graduated I passed out on the floor You mean there's more? I've done everything you said I don't want to intern It turned out meritocracy Was a lie As a philosophy it don't work They just told us that To keep us in school You bet your drilled back teeth I was looking at you Picking fights on the tube Cos you're feeling so blue It's not just the scars you can see It's the scars on the inside Inside of me My generation Doesn't mean that much to me And this Golden Age thinking Means I'm often unhappy I've got a little dark room At the back of the house I've been saving my pay But it's wearing me down And I can't afford anything Increasingly I opt out of everything I've had a million jobs I'll have a million more Wish I was successful But I sleep on the floor Work all my life For family So that my kids Could be like me The indignity, the humanity Oh the horror the horror ah Bartleby Throw me into a tube train Pay me the minimum wage So I will never earn more than my parents I'd prefer it not to be this way but My generation Doesn't mean that much to me And this Golden Age thinking Means I'm often unhappy Hidem Brook You've got the look Of a man I'd like to be. Hidem Brook You've got the look Of a man… of a real man. My generation Doesn't mean that much to me And this Golden Age thinking Means I'm often unhappy.
8.
Orion 03:32
Well the nurse took four different needles To get any blood out of me And she got help after three with tears in her eyes So I knew I was empty Figuratively That I live now alone is no surprise If you really want to know me If you want to tell the truth If you've got to find That thing inside That no one ever could I think, We could be best friends And then kiss And ruin everything. Well I left my home after midnight And no one was around And Orion looked down vengefully on me Now my heart is that giant, blind hunter And I am lost forever Still visible at night though far away If you really want to know me If you want to tell the truth If you've got to find That thing inside That no one ever could I think, We could be best friends And then kiss And ruin everything. Honey if I seem lonely it's only cos I am Kind of an actor Kind of a liar I am Orion I am Orion.
9.
Mendokusai 03:46
There's a certain quiet honour in a failure It's a subtle thing and subtle things are rare But to know it you've got to be it, you've got to know the quiet shame Of a life, wasted We are all broken-necked. Dreiser got it right the West's a Tragedy And they get you in a boat out on a lake It's to know your hopes and be tied by ropes on a bridge above a river With dreams of a future, with dreams of escape. We are all broken-necked There's something evil in the night It's creeping across the Atlantic It makes you think you've got a right To happiness and then it's tragic when you're proved wrong We are all broken-necked Swinging from the timbers at Owl Creek Bridge.
10.
Hellhole 04:02
Love I was a hopeless heart I was the tiniest light in an endless dark Dilute to the billionth part Till I met you Honey I was an open wound I was an open noose that my head fit through And I hoped that I’d need it to till I met you Because her love was the only thing I ever understood And hope didn't bring me the things that I hoped it would Because she kicked me to the kerb But then you said no Just leave it to me Forget your hurt, step away, just wait for me I said my heart is a hellhole but leave that to me If I save you from it Will you save me from me? Love I felt old and weak Drunk in the belly of the goddamn beast At the bottom of the deepest deep till I met you Honey Was at the end of my road I felt that I'd walked all my life just to lose control Felt myself running for the nearest hole Until I met you Because her love was the only thing I ever understood And hope didn't bring me the things that I hoped it would Because she kicked me to the kerb But then you said no Just leave it to me Forget your hurt, step away, just wait for me I said my heart is a hellhole but leave that to me If I save you from it Will you save me from me? Cos my body of work don’t lie A surge of relief once their hurt subsides And all the while I remember that You’re all I have Just leave it to me I said my heart is a hellhole but leave that to me If I save you from it Will you save me from me?
11.
My Marengo 03:17
Black shoes, white shirt for a funeral And we carried him down Our friend Is not around And it’s often when you fall asleep It’s a face in a dream it’s an alkaline beat And everyone loses sometimes But not everyone tries again No one tells you Things don’t go right much There’ll be days when you’ve seen enough And you want it to end So I will mourn you though I won’t agree With why you did it and it won’t beat me No matter how bad the damage you will see I’ll strive valiantly. Black shoes, black shirt at a party His bad luck weighs him down "We all live troubled lives We all want something more" So I say "It's getting better" but he don't see no Marengo Well you be the General And I'll be Napoleon No one tells you Things don’t go right much There’ll be days when you’ve seen enough And you want it to end So I will mourn you though I won’t agree With why you did it and it won’t beat me No matter how bad the damage you will see I’ll strive valiantly. My Marengo So I will mourn you though I won’t agree With why you did it and it won’t beat me Though it’s hopeless and tragic And though I’m ceaselessly panicked No matter how bad the damage you will see I’ll strive valiantly.
12.
Tsundoku 04:39
Set yourself a little task See if you pass it Seems like if you've got a brain You'll be unsatisfied What good's sensitivity If you're constantly set upon? What good's sensitivity If it makes you lonesome And unsatisfied? My imagination made me sad Where is all the good that they talk about? They said if I work real hard I'd be They said if I work real hard I'd be They said if I work real hard I'd be Happy. Tsundoku they said you were the one Joked I'd save on my heating bill So I became a literal anchorite And I bought insulation Now I've got certificates Now I've got a gown and some fur I've been making paper all my life But I ain't feeling satisfied Or warm. My imagination left me cold Where is all the good that I was told about? They said if I work real hard I'd be They said if I sacrificed to thee They said if I tried and tried and tried I might be Happy. My imagination made me sad Where is all the good that they talk about? They said if I work real hard I'd be They said if I work real hard I'd be They said if I tried and tried I'd be Happy. Set yourself a little task See if you pass it.

about

All songs © & ℗ Tellison 2015. Under exclusive license to Alcopop! Records.

ALCOPOP123X

All songs written by Stephen H Davidson except “Boy” and “Hellhole” by Peter Phillips. Music by Tellison.

Produced by Andy Jenkin at Rex Studio, London over nine months from 7th November 2013 – 20th August 2014.

Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music, NY.

Richard Peter Snapes played third guitar and sang. Luke Leighfield played piano and keys.

Artwork by Tom Laskowski (www.tomlaskowski.com) & Lloyd Cook (www.cargocollective.com/lloydcookdesign)

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released September 18, 2015

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Tellison London, UK

Tellison is a failed minor league indie rock band from London with acute organisational difficulties. They've released three albums and a bunch of singles.

Back in 2015 Tellison dusted off their guitars and referencing conventions, stepped up to take another swing at, if not the big time, at least the medium time and released "Hope Fading Nightly".

Things never quite go to plan.
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